Why I chose a homebirth
I didn’t know I wanted a homebirth until about a month before I went into labor.
Why I chose a homebirth
I didn’t know anything about labor and delivery before I got pregnant, but I always had the idea in my head that I wanted a waterbirth and a midwife. All I really knew was that water relaxes me and I thought emerging from the womb to water sounded like a peaceful way for my baby to come into this earth.
Finding a midwife
When I first got pregnant, I started researching midwives under my insurance. I learned about midwives in hospitals and I learned about birthing centers and homebirths. I did not think I would have a homebirth, but I also knew that hospital environments are traumatic for me and I wanted another option. I found a midwife practice in my neighborhood and after doing an initial meeting with her, I heard everything I needed to hear to go forward.
She provided me with so much detailed information about the medical side of the pregnancy process that I felt knowledgeable and informed. She assured me that weight and age are not determining factors of healthy pregnancies. I was 35 at the time, right at the beginning of ‘Geriatric Pregnancy’ status and for much of my adult life, I had heard that I needed to loose weight before I have children. Hearing from a medical professional with detailed, evidence-based science that there is no reason I can’t have a healthy pregnancy and birth was so life-giving!
A community midwife meant that I would have frequent, personalized visits throughout my pregnancy and the same midwife who cared for me during pregnancy would be the one to deliver my baby.
From birth center to homebirth
I went through my whole pregnancy planning to birth in a birthing center across the street from a hospital. But when the time came to tour the birthing center I immediately felt it wasn’t right. I could just be home, why would I come here instead? I sat on that feeling for 2 months, talked to someone who had a recent home birth, watched positive homebirth vlogs and tried to get in touch with my intuition.
It was clear to me that I wanted to be in the peace and comfort of my home. Being home would eliminate some of my strong anxieties, like having to ride in the car while in labor and transporting our newborn home after birth. Or having to pack up every item of comfort to bring with me and trying to anticipate what my needs would be during my first time giving birth. If I gave birth at home, I would be home. My doula and midwife would come to me and I would have what I needed.
A month before my due date I decided to have a home birth with a birth tub. I felt so good about my decision. Despite other people’s fears and stories of how painful birth was for them — I knew I was making the best choice for me.
At age 36 and plus size, how was I able to have a homebirth?
Weight stigma and age bias are prevalent in many medical settings. Some providers may have ruled me out of a homebirth automatically. I might have ruled myself out if I didn’t have enough information. In my informational meeting with my midwife, I asked her if people in larger bodies have a harder pregnancy and she told me no, size does not indicate health. Health issues in pregnancy can arise no matter the size of the pregnant person. She told me she runs frequent tests on all her patients to monitor for any health issues that would indicate moving to a hospital birth. I was extremely fortunate to have been able to had a healthy pregnancy! If there were any health complications during my pregnancy, I would have birthed at a hospital.
What about the pain?
It might surprise you to know I have a very low pain tolerance. Maybe I was foolish to want an unmedicated birth, but ultimately my environment was more important to me than the ability to receive pain relief. I felt confident that the birthing tub would relax me enough to make it work. Ultimately, my determination and resolve moved me through. And yeah, it was very hard.
What questions do you have? Leave them below.
